Just not there..... yet - A discussion on growth mindset.

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible!" - Audrey Hepburn

We all have different outlooks on life. Some of us are more half-glass empty, while others are unabashedly optimistic. And studies show that a majority fall into the former category.

During my career and personal life, there have been many instances where I want to give up when things don’t go my way. Fail at giving a presentation, public speaking isn’t for me. Crack an unfunny joke with someone, never talk to them again.

Or sometimes, I am too scared to try something new because, "what’s the point of trying if I’m going to fail anyway?”. During these moments, I feel that failure is inevitable and that absolutely nothing I do can change the consequences.

I am stuck.

I have always had these thoughts but never put a name to them until during one of our courses where our professor brought about the concept of the fixed/growth mindset. Stanford University psychologist, Carol Dweck proposed these outlooks in her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.” She states that people with a fixed mindset view their intelligence, abilities, and talents as static and unchangeable.

This kind of mindset is what has held me back from trying new and scary things. I get lost in the potential outcome and the fear of failure rather than trying to enjoy the process of learning something new. And according to Carol Dweck, fixed mindsets can lead to negative thinking, avoidance, and, self-worth.

No more!

How to develop a growth mindset:

During our course, a lot of discussions happened on this topic from suggestions like taking up classes, to talking to experts but all of these seemed too far away and not something that I can start immediately until a video was shown about Carol Dweck’s Ted Talk where she discussed the 'power of not yet'.

I was fascinated. The notion that 'I am just not there yet' instead of 'I will never get there' gives me hope. It creates a sense of optimism that I can achieve what I want to eventually. But how does it work? For one thing, it feels a lot less final. It suggests that change is possible and that there is room for improvement and time to grow into what is necessary to succeed. Rather than being a “No,” it’s more like a “Not quite. Keep trying.”

What I learned is that I need to acknowledge and embrace imperfection in myself and others, as it is the extra bits that makes one, an individual. We all have our flaws, peculiarities, and weirdness—our imperfections and it is that very imperfection that is my strength.

Carol says to breed curiosity. I have always marveled at what I don't know but now I will go out of my way to be more curious because not knowing is not a cause for shame or fear but for excitement.

The notion of not yet being made me realize that I am allowed to let myself fail. As uncomfortable as that may be, it's essential that I try and fail, and try and fail again. As every failure is a stepping stone on the path to success.

While reading I came across one of my childhood heroes who has a similar mindset. J.K Rowling failed time and time again, got rejected constantly but eventually became the author of one of the most successful fantasy novel series of all time because she kept saying 'not yet' in the face of failure.

Final takeaway:

No person starts off with a growth mindset, it takes time to cultivate, nurture and 'grow'. But I know that by truly connecting with the concept of 'not yet' I will be able to understand my real value to myself and others. I will be able to focus less on what others have, and more on competing against my former self. The way I talk to myself will facilitate growth rather than negativity. And one day, I will be able to break free from the shackles of a fixed mindset and keep on growing towards success.